the adventures of jizzy b and the buffalo

tonight we will be coming to you live while drinking, so you can monitor our status. each of us has a laptop, a d rink, and are watching a moive at the same time. the plan is to watch star wars: the clone wars (animated piece of crap that failed more than a baby with no cat to ride. whoa, cartoon samuel l jackson is a pussy. drink break. okay i'm bored by this movie. and buffalo is not even watching. drink break. that guy just got his head shot off. drink break. obi wan is a pussy. oh snap, they're gonna need reinforcements!!! yoda, i can't year you now! anikan just got hoesed. that one dude is totally giving her "experience." jedi power confuses me. why can't they just throw all the bad guys into a big pile. bring me liquid!!!! drink break. oh shit son! jabba the hut's bounty hunters are way dead!! line break!

hey there, new line, how you doin! the spaceships suck. whoa, those droids are totally doing it! seriously, we really need space ships like the stars wars peoples. whoa, skeleton dude. i've run out of drog fuel. baby jabba looks smaller than my last shit. i'm confused. she's got an especially long lightsaber. maybe she isn't a she afterall. gins is now immitating r2d2. he's poking the air. yeah i'm done too. the live drog doesn't wokr well. tune in next week....in bed!

Teh unending drogpost

so sam said something like 'my watch fell off' which is what started the drogoff we're gonna fight to the death of drog. we're watching star whores (sadly no just star wars) and it's not really very interesting or sensible it doesn't make sense to me yoda is all.... animated and stuff. and the officers are british already adn they're not even the mepire yet. that dude clone man just poiunched a robot and hurt his hand he is stupid why are they using long range weapons in hand to hand combat. "if you like experience, little one, it looks like you're about to get plenty." yeah, wow, almost twss. apparently there are t-rex clones on the 'jedi' side too it's wawesome.

haha again "I can't take it any more I have to stand up!" wow totall twss.

jabba jabba jabba you in the btutt. mmm pumpkin muffin.


the movie got way too uninterestign to keep bloggina bout it's whaty way better to just make typos about nothing in particular massa massa me asoka need help fucking racist jorge lucas.

also, lightsaber in the butt. and riding the trash can. Then puking in the trashcan.

Stick in my pocket

ladies....yeah that's right, i have a stick in my poncket. yes i'm also hpa=ppyg to see youl. so this gril sarah puyt a stick in my pokcet tonight and appartently thats' all it totok eo become the life of the party., also, i had white cheddar popcorn, whiuch may ormay not have made it'sr round onto the floor of whoever was hotinsg tonight. so yeah,. thonighte was a goodnight. first at the beginning i gave my numb3r to a totatlly attracibve hostess and i thnk she liked it. then, at this party that, by tehway, i totally crashed, i was the total fucking life of the party. i was attracing all the girls in the room, not jus thte most beautiful girl in the room. then there was the girl that didn't seem to be agblet to stand up until the end of the night./ burlar and i were convinced that she was not able to walk, but apparently she cvan. whe hda at double chin and was not attracivea after first glance. it turns out, that long island that they made in a FIVE GALLON JUG was really freaking strong becuas ei'm still going after hours since i left the downer at like 8. i think the walk home was probably good for the buffalo and I. otherwise we would probably die. anyways, i'm gonna go down a litre of water, yeah that's right litre, not liter. then i'm gonna pass out. village coffee shop people contact me by 10!!!!!! peace!!!!!!!! --A dude with a stick!!

bitchass punk

yeah, you better be givin thanks for shit tonight. You know what I'm giving thanks for? FREE BEEER!! IT was AMAZIGN! I love the Sun it is so good I want to be icarus and fly to it all the freakin time it was delicious.
OOOH BEER REVIEW TIME!:!

Thunderhead Stout: The only stout Devo's ever ghive n a postiive review to it was delciious and I will always love it the way I only love bugs.
Quinn's Golden Ale: also pretty damn delicious itw as tasty too
FYIPa: FYI, pale ale? fiscale year impearila apel ale? What was this but it wasn't ad it was a little IPA sih
that Amber that ty got it was ummm amberpena amber?

you know what the ladies totally love me when I'm drunk I got all up int hat. Yeah. you know it. I had so much beer itw as carazty carafe-azy? beer.
BEEER!
beeer.
ber
beer IG OT IT RIGHT HIS TimE!

I have toooooo much to give to give thanks for.

ok so I have pretty much nothikng to give thanks for.  thankgiving if a sumb holidauy =I hate it ..nobody had a reaso nto give thankss.  Fuck,. this shit if dumb.  I thinhk jizzy and the buffalow made fun of me.   ad that mkes me sad.

post -> riposte

1. What three olson house inhabitants are drunk?
THSI MANY!


2. What two olson house inhabitants are lame?
me and la. Teh twins?

3. How many roads must a man walk down?
how many times must a chick go down? same answer.

4. How many hoes must a man turn down?
zero plus or minus your mom (ho snap)

5. Why have we never gone to catacombs trivia night?
fuckin a, yeah?

6. What is the best pizza evar?
colorful

7. Why didn't we join up with those three hot girls?
goggles, dude, you were wearing boggles.

8. Which one of us met someone from our undergraduate institution?
Elise!

9. Which two of us wanted to "get to know" said person a bit more?
all of the above?

10. Why did we believe the buffalo? It was Bob Seger!!!!!!
fuck you bob saget never wona nyone anytihng

Bonus: How did we get home safely?
only one corpse left in the road and itw asn't ours oh YEAH!

trivia night

1. What three olson house inhabitants are drunk?

2. What two olson house inhabitants are lame?

3. How many roads must a man walk down?

4. How many hoes must a man turn down?

5. Why have we never gone to catacombs trivia night?

6. What is the best pizza evar?

7. Why didn't we join up with those three hot girls?

8. Which one of us met someone from our undergraduate institution?

9. Which two of us wanted to "get to know" said person a bit more?

10. Why did we believe the buffalo? It was Bob Seger!!!!!!

Bonus: How did we get home safely?

feelin a litttle droggy tonight?

heh, see what I did there? I was also drebugging code tonight it was pawesome. So, I'm also an intellectual property thief because I stole someone's image using magical fairies and stuff. Woot.

fyi, I removed all links from my page to sketch and stuff because I'm paranoid. I might double=-check that there's no way to link me here, that would be sketchy.

I'm not correcting my typos tonight! at least not all of them there are some I bothered to correct.

WAWAAWAWAAAAAAAA!!!! BANANAPHONE!

The floor

The floor is an amazing place.  It's covered in carpet, and magickly blankets grow out of it and cover you while you're sleeping.  Also, it seems like just in case you are up for a long, dangerous, walk home across the danger zone, a helmet is provided.  This is the case of the great CM.  CM is an amazing character who always means well, but rarely lasts the whole night.  Tonight we dedicate the evening to such an occurence.  While the CM lays dormant on the comfortable floor, one begs the questions:  do we a) ride him like a stalion. b) skateboard. c) protect him from an unforseen fall. d) comfort him in blankets. e) place nearby objects in objectible orifices f) leave him alone g) all of the above (except f).  This is an age old question that will only be answered in time.  Hopefully the sleeping giant awakes from his slumber in time to pour beer into empty cups.  cheers to all, and to all a good pour!

JB

Inappropriate actions

ok so here is the deal.  Sometimest you have hte opportuninitie to act on someting.  But you know you should not.  So you hasve to stop youtself.  But sometimes you feel like the other party is reasponsible.  Do you know what I mean?>  I think you do.  Because everyont runs into this every now and then and you czn't help it.  But the fact of the matter is, that's likfe and until you know how to deal with it, it sucks.  For sure.  Trust me I know.  I hate shit, but sometyimes it gets thrown in your face and you like it, but i tdoesn't change a thing,

tonight

initiates officially the worst idea I ever had. I gonna climb a mountain! It's gonna be GREAT! Then I'm gonna come down and drink again. Sadly,e ven drunk and prepared to be hung over I still correct most of my typos, so this doesn't look much like adrog post should.

Ocktoberfest

No description needed.  Ocktoberfest was a success!  Long live large beers, big breasted women, bratwursts, and whole turkey legs!

People thin kyou are drunk.

Ok, so here is the deal.  Sometimes people thin kyou are drunk but it turns out that you are not drunk at all.  I staret to get mad when people think thins about me but it isn't ture.   I mean come on, if anyone shoudl know when I am drunk it should be me right??  Doesn't thgiis make sense?  I don;t see how anyone can resfute this logic.

Ok so tomorrow I am going to a music festival and although I have been trying to cut backmy drinking (which is why you haven't seen me on here in a while).  I think I might be drinking tomrroww.  So the question is, what Should I drink?  Should it be hard A, or should it be beer.  I like beer,  I also like hard A so it isn't an easy qeustion.  If questions in liffe were easy then we wouldn'y have to think about them and then thewy would be hard, right?!?!?!?  Just mull that over for a while and if it doeswn't makje sense then you clearly don't get it.

Now I bid you adieu, which is a form of goodbye in french.  Yeah that's right bitch, I know french drunk and you don't know shit.

ONLY ONE LEFT!

You know what's awesome? When a party is so good that the only one left sober enough to type is also the only one left sober enough to get into his own bed. This was a hell of a party. We gotta do this more often.

Also, I hope I didn't fuck anyone over or alienate anyone by sending a totally wasted e-mail or running interference on that dude. Yo. What's up?

It is time for drunk picutres, then sleep (I left that typo there even though I can see it.... I might be severely OCD when it comes to typos but I can hadnle a drog post with a couple, i.e. 2)

TEH BUHFALO)H~!

WOO! FIRST PARTY!

hooray for the hong dan. and pbr light. wtf? but it was ok.

I just don't get it. Not at all.

Ok so I don;t get it.  I don't understand how it s all supposed to work,  I mean.  Its supposed to be all guy meets girls, guy takes girl out to dinner, guy and girl live happpily ever after right?  Well thats total bull shit.  Its not ture at all.  IT doesn't work that way pure and simple.  Oh well though, you can'y do anything about it can you?  I mean maybe you can.  But I don't think so.  But maybe.  Probably not, but there can be some ounce of hope right?

Anywho... that doesn't matter.  IT about that time of the year again that the schoo shit starts back up and I am not happy.  Classes suck.  Stduying sucks.  Comps 1 sucks a giant one, because it must.  That;s the way of life.  Things have to be real bad beacuse then you know you are doing something with your life right?  I mean if it was all too easy we would get bored and do stupid shit like when Winona Ryder shoplifts.   I mean that fuckling bitch doesn't need to shop lift she has money, but for all her money life sucks and so she does stupid shit.  Fucking whore.

DANGER ZONE!

man shit si goin crazy awaesome in here!!!! hopetfully this si the second of three drogp osts tonight.  devo and i are fudkin shit up crazy time ove here.!!!  we thought that this was going to be a boring nite.   turned intof fucking waseome.  grillin, drinkin, video gaminn, drinking, drinking.. and more drikin.  \nn/  This is the JIzzy B.  Over and fuckin out!

Seriously?

WTF man. WTF. That's all.

woo!!1! f1r5t p05t

my term to carry the flame

well the crashman is off conquering the east coast and hopefully is spreading the great tradition of being trashed to far away lands.  buffalo and myself have carried the all imporstant drog torch tonight, by tasting three differeent 8%+ bombers .  they were tasty.  tomorrows we will try our own trippel.  this is the jizzy, signing out for now.     and passing out.  cheers!

the dark knight

first off....why>

IT SUCKED.

second off....

IT SUCKED A LOT.


The dark knight is not only the most over-hyped movie of all time, it is also the BIGGEST cinematic disaster since Jeepers Creepers ( my second most hated movie...of all time. ) Here;'s why:

a) it sucked really bad.


PERIOD.

this was christine

benjamin erik johnson is aslut

exactly, as i stated.

this is a well known fact.

check it out i am a good speller even when drunk... though its possible that instead of "speller" i typed "smeller" the first time. but see i corrected it cause i'm a good speller.

i'm going to bed.

Ergonomic key board for the WIN!!!

hwey everybody I am typing on a ergonomnic keyboard which is hard ti recover from on a regukar basis tright?  oh man thisd is way too hard? ok so msn proplr dont type on these very often.  man dude I am drunk qhile we watch The Kingdom.  I think IU just  got my mon4eys stolen.  I want my monryd back.  Way7 too ftunk.  My frioends stole my moneys dammn it.

Whoop! Tuesday!

All right folks, so its tuesday and normally the drog wouldn't be getting a post.  But as it turns out I actually got a little drunk tonight, which is unsual for me.  So the all star game was tonight and the AL won it.  Go AL! woo!  So yeah.  I like the Red Sox so I like the AL, that's just how it works.  But I tell you what, it was a long game, it went to like 15 innings, which is more than baseball should go, but it made for a close game so that was good, and good games are great (grrrrreeeattt! like Tony the Tiger!).  I hope you are all doing well and I think I will sleep.  If you like to watch baseaball then maybe you watched it.  But mayb e not.  I odn't know. Night night!

FrankieBeans in the NZ 1

I post this on sunday whilst writing this on a very late saturday night due to the fact that i can't acutually connect to the wireless internet connection from my room in my NZ house.

greetings all, This is Frankiebeans posting for the first time, as drunk as i'll probably get. seeing that idon't acutgally get drunk that often whilst i'm in australia. only when i'm in NZ and og out with all my friends.

back storty first, i woke up at 4am sydney, australia time this moringing, to go to the airport cause my flight flys at 715am

yay, i got to the airport ontime an d caught the airplane and ride on ti for 3.5 hrs

i had a good breakfast meal on the plane, it was a tiny silver dollar sized hashbrown with about 1/2 an egg's worth of scrambled eggs witha chicken sausage which tasted like the cardboard paper you get when youbuy new shoes.
hoe fo i know this? i 've eating that paper before. yes be afraid.

i sast next to a dude that look asian and is asian and wow.. is asian. who told me he had benen in singapore for a year cause of work and is fisiting his family in NZ. awesome. i didn't really need to know but what the heck~

i got off the plen through the left forward doors while the, oh yeh.. during the fligh i basicaly just played "puzzle quest" on my DS. which was quite entertaining.
there was a nice looking schladie on the back riht of me in the centre on the far isle side. but she looke younger and possibly taken. but she did stare at me a lot. so i dunno there.
i am quite attractive if i mist say for all you fellas and schladis out there that maybe interested ;)

i got off the plane and i was carrrying a lot of stock for the business in my suit case . after i bought my load of duty free for my compadres in NZ i headed for the security check.
"what food do you have" as i had ticked that i had food. and i said "just donuts" beceause in NZ they don't have Krispy Keremem dohnuts at all.. only dunkin ones which are way way way way too sugary.

i love a good krispy kreme, excpet tht i can't eat them all the time cause i'll get fat too easily. but anyway, i'm going trough the checkout and exray and the dude asked me. "what's in the suitcase" i said
coputer parts.. becase literally it was my suitacase was full of computer parts because i am the internatoan courier for my company!

they shoud definataly astart paying me shipping costs and acceidental health insurance cause of mthe strain that may could happen when i lift all that ustck

any shits, i asked the security lady. since she was sitting ath the end of all the the other security cherks in the row "lots of business here at the end?"

she loved it. i went to the extray after that. just let me through and i was outsitde the gates and my brother dropped me home and i went to the hair dressors to get my hair donE!

after my hair i went go Karting with all my mates cause it was one of them's britheday. and i gave him one bottle of JDE's for his Bday cause he was Bdayu. yeah?
I hadn't raced on Go Karts before so i was a bit slow. invace i was the slowest male driver today.
and i've got battle scars to prove it too. i got rammed from about SSE and my pelvis hit the butcket plastic seat hard and now i have a bruse on my hip bone.
not fun,.

after the rigours go kart expeerience, i wnet home to have some left over lunch cause by this time itw was about 720pm anlready. and everyone else had already ate.,

yay'

im anaaged to make some of the totieas that i had into a nivce big burger lidk substance cause but i didn't erally work cause it was pita bread and yeh..

afterdinner i went to a friends house to fucking drink caseuse it was his birthday. same guy as before. and yeah it was good hence i'm dropping this drog right now.

aheaps of ppl were there and i inrtroduced his holder brother to the GAME

i'll explain how to play this GAME in a later day... but you'll have to remind me to teach evereyone.

we then headed to the local night clubs. they were funs. i danced. i sweat alot aso i got really wet. the schaldies seekmas to always gather around me when i dance.

i don't know why. why is it ladies??? i ask you this!

is it the asian thing
?? lor is it the sghaking of the bootay that does it for you

thus i'm always the person wiho on the danc`e follr is the bait for all the sexy schladies and i then point out the hot ones that a rworth a go ato my friends who then try their chance

most of the time they're too chick to do dshit about it.
o well, i love dancing. its the best.. jsut like chocolate and sraaytwberries or gettingto run or exdcewtrsise freely. and feeling that sence of AHHHHHHHHHHH when you finishe ur routeen

so i dance sand i sweated alot
came home and now i'm wrintgin this shit
i'mgonnna go take a wshoer and sleep now.

this had taken too long
manybe i shoul trim it down a bit.
b ut the dropg is no edit ing. so a BIG shit to me!

hha. hm... yeh...
i need the sleep

but one last quedstion i need you all to answer me is that why is it that it is OK for girls to kiss and its hot.. but why isn't it hot when 2 guys kilss and make it public?
huh?
bit unfair no?
yeh.
good night

Frankie Beans. OUT

whoa, whoa, whoa.... twice in one weekend??

howdy everybody!  It;s me again.  So yeah, this is post number two in the same weekend more of less.  Tonight I played a bunjch of halo (halo 3 of course... jeeez.).  While some halo players like to keep it real (like me!) other ones get way to uptight about it.  Like ok, so say I start a halo sruvery of the people I end up in matches with, they should answer it right?  I mean they should be gorwn up people and just answer it, we are all adults.  So tonight the survey was this:  "boobs or penis?".  Now most people seems hesistant to respond.  I took this to mean that they liked penis.  Which is probably a pretty good assumption.  I think most people who sit at home and play halo like penis.  But of course, that doesn't apply yo me.  I like boobs.  Boobs are the best.  Man therwe was one hardcore penis lover.  His name was bananasquasher!  I mean come one, that pretty much means you like to squash penis in your butthole right?  I don't see how else you could interpret that, but he was pretty content on remaining slient.  I htink he was intimidated.  He didn't want to come right out with it, but in teim he will grow comfortable with his way of being.  Until he does I suggest that you try to friend him on XBOX live, and if he accept, then send him "appropriate" pictures to teach him that its all ok.  And that some day he will find his true love.  Because then, you will have made the world a happier place.  Huzzah!

hgappy forth of JULY!!!

hey all happy fourth of jul;y!!! its is the day of our country;s independence! huzzah!  So when you get celebrating tomorrow  (today really at this point), don't for get to thank the founding fathers! they werwe great!  They made our country great!  We are independwent because of them  so yeah, drink a beer for them, they were great!

number two bitches!

yo yo yo, so first off.  A lack of pants is good.  pants are sot restricting.  therefore, not pant is better than pants.  I am not weating pants.  because I like no pants right now.  just boxers.  no pants.  good stuff.

Ok, so sometimes you are hanging and some other dude, who is hnging out.  decides to be a douchebag.  And no one likes douchebags.  no one.  but, this ghuy is gonna be a douchebag anywats.  So you say ok.  I will be a douchebag back.  So you be a douchebag.  And then you think hey, I am nbot douchebag, and I don't wanna be one.  So you stop being a douchebag.  But he keeps being one.  So you just tell yourself you are the better person.  and well you are. but yeah, douchebags are dumb.

alright, so you know what is tight when you are drinking? smoking a cigar.  I like cigars, but thtat is all I will smoke.  the rest of smoking is gorss, but cigars are delicious.  Thats what I think.

its possible that this post sucked a lot, but  I am drunbk and tired. so maybe it wasn't my best, but I will sleep now and you should sleep too because sleep is better than awake.

Hey all, this is crashman here. My name is crashman becasuse I had several bike crashings in a very shorttime. I was drunk when my crashes happened. I am herte to bring you the very first postr on the drunk blog, otherwise known as the drog. The drog will be a place of merriment and wonder. A place wher even the sober can have a good time. Soo right now I am very dunk and typing is not only a requisite byt a challenge. A challedge to see if I am caplable of posting while in toxicated. I am of course drun kand so you might have trouble reading this. But taht is the point of the Drog. It is a place where strange thinkgs may happen a place where perhaps your whildest dreams will come true. Even if they don't it sdtill may be worth reading. So tonight after hangint out at the bars I came hyome and tried some of my home brew. It was ans african amber and an attempt to clone Mac & Jacks, which isa delicious brewery in the seattle area. It was pretty damn good as far as I could tell so I will consider it a sucess for the time being. I will let you knowe at a later time if tht changes. Sometimes you meet cool dtunk chicks and then sometimes you don;t. You never know when it will happen. Tonight was not one of those nkights. I think I will sleep now., but in the future nbe ready for sweeyt drunk shenanigans and great drunken insights. Until next time, This is crashman signing off. Good night.